Their approach was a bit different this year than the one from last, and the destinations have changed quite a bit as a result.  The list was compiled using nominations and recommendations from members of their online forums, most of whom are seasoned hard-core travelers.  Though it is a bit vague which criteria decided selections, it seems to be a collection of beautiful, culturally-rich world locales which have not yet been played out.  I’ve only visited one of these places so far (Berlin), but I am on my way to Siem Reap in about a week. 

Hmmm…maybe I’ll add seeing all of these places to my goal list for 2009….

True, I enjoy seeing blue-spotted stingrays lurking in dark crevices; parrot fish, with their rich hues of green and purple; and the constant anticipation for my first whale shark to loom in the crystal clear depths. However, I perceive diving as an act of meditation.  Having achieved neutral buoyancy, I glide gracefully in a weightless dimension, imagining I am flying as I soak up a magical world most people will never experience. And when it is over, the effects of this meditation manifest.

I climb from the water, and this absolute peace washes over me as I break down my gear. I sit, then, upon my perch at the front of the rocking boat, my feet dangling over the deck.

Take in the glassy emerald green seas stretching out before me.

The island paradise juts from the ocean, quaint bungalows speckling the palm-blanketed hills.

The sun caresses my refreshed body, and my doubts and fears are forgotten.

In this relaxed state, naturally high from underwater meditation, I am reminded why I came to Thailand in the first place—why I decided to sell my truck and all my furniture to travel the world. Right then, my heart knows I can continue this lifestyle for at least another five months if I try—perhaps forever.

I feel free, and that is all I need.

This is very evident when traveling, as you are a fresh face everywhere you go.  This attitude is often the product of prejudices and unfair judgments based on first impressions, so it easy to find yourself feeling angry when this happens.  In the past, I responded by emulating the rude manners or completely ignoring the individual. 

Experience taught me neither of these approaches works.  Responding with pride and animosity often validated their distorted perceptions, worsening the problem, and many times in my violent past led to fistfights.  I remember always wondering why these people felt it was me who provoked the situation. 

On the other hand, a conscious effort to ignore them alienated them, intensifying their jealousy and insecurity.  Even if we were avoiding communication, we both knew and felt what was happening, and that kind of unspoken resentment is unhealthy.  It breeds hatred.  So ignoring them led to the same vicious cycle as reciprocation.

If someone dislikes you, or appears to, it may just be the manifestation of their insecurities.  Never assume it is personal.  Sometimes social behavior is so ingrained and automatic, they don’t even realize how rude they are—this is why people were always so convinced I had started the problem.  On a similar note, when I was younger, I was often quiet around strangers.  I was a little shy, and I was constantly thinking.  I assumed people knew I was often lost in philosophical thought and saw me as deep and mysterious.

But when I made a conscious effort to be more extroverted, I realized my behavior was not interpreted this way at all.  I was a big guy who walked with a confident air, and my quiet, serious demeanor told people I had a chip on my shoulder.  No wonder people were rude to me! 

My approach changed as I changed my life.  Now, if I get a sense someone immediately dislikes me, I respond with kindness.  I smile when I see them or whenever they look my direction.  I say hello.  Start small talk.  I’m sure this advice isn’t new to you, and it may seem New-Agey or useless (as well as redundant).

But here is the thing.

It actually works—very well.

Unless someone is a genuine bastard, it is extremely difficult to continue being a jerk to someone who is always friendly.  It might work for a little while, but in the long run it is not sustainable.

Think about how you project yourself. 

Smile at strangers, especially if you encounter them often. 

Make small talk, even if they reject your first attempts.  Act familiar with people, be kind to them, and their defenses will crumble.  Don’t take it personally when it seems you are unfairly judged or even subjected to racism.  If you are comfortable with who you are, don’t let someone else’s assumptions affect your mood. 

Only YOU have control over your emotional and mental state, so refuse to give that control away.

I’m not suggesting bow to people and let them constantly disrespect you.  I can maintain my dignity when I act this way, and I still have lines I will not allow anyone to cross when it comes to my physical and emotional well-being; however, all it takes is simple “hellos” and “how are you’s.”  An occasional smile or nicety—but keep it consistent and long-lasting.  You will be amazed at how quickly people relax. 

Continue being yourself. 

Continue controlling your own mood. 

You will find yourself smiling even more inside when they start greeting you first, realizing you were not only able to control your mood but theirs as well.  Resist the tendency to judge back, and you will find what seems the most unfriendly, prejudiced person may be one of the most generous loving souls when you have cracked their shell.  The rewards for you life are too vast to describe in words.

The best thing you can do for your social life is to stop thinking about your interactions as a means for personal gratification.  Stop using your social life to make yourself happy.  Instead, make it a conscious and consistent effort to make others feel good about their selves.  Try to make them happy.  As Anthony Robbins points out, people try to avoid pain and seek pleasure. 

So become a source of pleasure. 

If being around you provides good feelings for people, they will clamor to be in your midst.

As I pulled this blog entry up on my computer to post, a girl was sitting beside me in this Thai restaurant where I use the free wireless.  Something happened that was ironically relevant to this post. 

I noticed she was quiet and throwing me sideways glances as if she wanted me to speak to her.  I didn’t see her in a negative light; however, I got the sense she was sad and lonely and wanted someone to speak to.  Instead of doing so, I kept returning to my work, trying not to be distracted.

Finally, I forced myself to face the fact I was ignoring the moment.  Rather than reach out to someone, I was focused on the project at hand, and was missing a chance to help someone or learn something new.  So I stopped working and started a conversation with her. 

And you know what—it turned out I was wrong anyways.  She was actually very content.  She was not lonely or sad at all from what I could tell.  She was an enthusiastic, happy young woman who I was probably alienating with my refusal to spark up a conversation.  In the end, I found out about some great teaching opportunities in Cambodia I was not aware of and made a new friend from Switzerland. 

So not only do the above observations still apply, but I’m reminded of how easy it is to misjudge someone’s mood or situation if you do not take the time to work past assumptions.  I am also reminded of the need to reach out to others if I want to live a life of travel and adventure.  Even more so than people who stick close to home, a lifelong traveler needs a broad, extensive network of connections. 

And finally, I am again reminded of the difference between watching life pass you by and experiencing it fully.  At least I am flexible enough to remind myself when it is time to pursue goals and when it is time to relax and let things flow. 

Maybe I can get the hang of this after all…

            It has been so long since I’ve written in this blog.  In that sense, I suppose I have failed. 

But I haven’t failed completely. 

Though I didn’t record it, I still made my journey.  I have come so far, and I am going to continue down this path.  My life has changed, evolved, and it feels right.  I have grabbed a hold of my moment of life.

            I started and failed a business.  I started another business and succeeded, but it was going to lock me down in one location for a long time.  I sold my truck and began riding my bicycle everywhere to get in shape and do my part to curb global warming.   I went back to university to study international business and spent the summer in Europe, spending two months traveling around Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland, France, and Sicily.  When I got home, my plan was to buy a motorcycle with the money from my truck and fulfill another one of my dreams.

            But when I got home things changed.  I am in the process of writing a memoir about my story so I will not go into details now, but basically something horrible happened that destroyed my life and took everything away from me.  I sat back and looked at my situation and realized I didn’t really mind so much.  I suddenly had regained my freedom, and I still had some money from selling my truck.  I decided I wanted to keep trying to seize the day.  I was going to use the little bit I had left and go see the world—try to put myself in a situation where I had to find a way to support the life I desired.

I am in Thailand as I write this.  I have been living here for five months now.  If I can help it, I am not going home.  It is nighttime as I write this, and I have to get up early in the morning to go scuba diving.  Another day of crystal clear water and palm-lined shores from the boat.  Currently, I am in a dive master internship program which will provide me with the means to work in the most beautiful places in the world—yet another attempt to keep the dream alive.

It is amazing how at ease you feel when you are pursuing your dreams.  Upon reviewing this blog, I noticed how many items I have crossed off of my list, and the funny thing is, every time I accomplish something I think of new items to add.  It is as if opening myself up to these new experiences also opens doors to corridors I never knew existed, or corridors I thought were off limits to me. 

I see now I should have kept blogging through it all.  I should have recorded my journey.  But I am back now, and the journey is far from over.  If I can keep the dream alive, I will have no shortage of things to write about, will I now?

Money has gotten short.  At one point, I didn’t have one dollar to my name, and no way to fly anywhere else in the world.  It was frightening, but I kept pushing, and just when things seem to get the worst, something always comes through.  Interestingly, this was the same way it always went back home when I was broke.  It seems no matter where you are or what you’re doing, you always find a way to make it work. 

And I’m trying to make this work.  Not only am I in this dive program, but I am working on several projects as well.  I am starting multiple blogs.  I wrote a novel and am busy with the first redraft (check out the first chapter!).  I am writing a memoir.  I am setting up an eBay business.  I am setting up a website to display the poetry I wrote in the most trying period of my life, in which my anger and self-pity threatened to consume me.  And I have many other ideas and projects in progress as well.   It all sounds like so much, but I do not feel stressed at all because I am only doing things I want to do.  Everyday is an adventure—and everyday I am doing something new and amazing.

Yet, I suppose the true test of my efforts is whether or not I succeed.  Will I be able to continue this when all my furniture has been sold and I spend all of my money?  I suppose I will see, but the thing is, I don’t feel like the dream would be dead even if I had to leave Thailand.  I could go get some temporary work somewhere and save some more money.  I would already have a job if I had not unknowingly come straight to a country which makes it so difficult for a “farang” to work.  I could learn to live on less and continue pursuing means of income.  Even if I have to resort to a temporary stay in the states, it would allow me to do things I never got to do—like hike through the Grand Canyon or ride a bicycle to Yosemite National Park. 

I have tasted this freedom, so for me there is no going back.  I have no material desires.  I only crave experience.  And there are people out there living this kind of life.  I see that now.  Tim Ferriss, author of ”The 4-Hour Workweek,” was not lying.  These people exist.  Some of them work hard to live their life of adventure and travel.  Some of them find ways to work not so hard.  The point is they are no smarter or more talented than I am.  If they can do it, I can certainly do it as well.  And so can you.

I apologize for leaving you behind.

I apologize for not inviting you on my journey like I promised.

But I am back now.

I would like you to come with me.

Take my hand—are you ready for this?

Be the difference you want to see in the world, and your world will change.

Live a life others can admire.  Make a vow to not lie, to not judge, to not cause unnecessary pain.

Challenge yourself to practice the Buddhist principle of Right Speech, which instructs us to never say anything which isn’t both truthful and helpful.

If you are still in school, use every single assignment your teacher gives you to make a difference.  Go all out and try to inspire your teacher, if no one else.  At work, use your job to do the same.  Truly realize the meaning of your work and contribution.  Make every single smile, every single conversation, and every single action count by envisioning the minutes as building blocks with which you build a meaningful day.  Even if you only inspire one single person with your efforts, it will be worth it.

Believe change is possible.

I have not always been a postive person.  I wasn’t dealt a very great hand in life.  My father was a heroin addict and spent my childhood in prison, while my mom struggled with alcoholism to raise three young men on a tight budget.  I remember helping my father dig meat out of the dumpster behind the grocery store when I was a young child.

In my eyes, the world was against me from the start, and it didn’t take long for this attitude to cause problems.   I became violent, lashing out repeatedly, until my school threatened to expel me unless I spoke to someone about my anger.  I once broke a man’s jaw for fifty dollars.  Many people who knew me were convinced I was going to follow in my father’s footsteps, and, for a while, I accepted this thought as fate.

I was unfaithful in my relationships.  Like a lot of people who grew up in my generation, I grew up listening to rap degrade women, and cheating became the rule in relationships rather than the exception.  Honesty was one of my most treasured values, but somehow I didn’t think lying to women was really lying. 

For a long time, I went on like this, drinking heavily and barely skirting around brushes with the law.  Then one day, I sat up and took a serious look at my life, and I didn’t like what I saw.  I didn’t like who I was becoming, so I decided to change course.

I’m writing all this because I want to show you we are not slaves to our behaviour; change is possible if we apply ourselves.  I am an example of someone who stepped back as a young man and finally said, “This is not the kind of person I want to be.”  If I could do that, with no real guidance and no one telling me my actions were wrong, anyone can do it.

Use your very presence on this Earth to change it forever. 

Refuse to be a follower in a society that encourages indifference but glorifies violence and materialism.  Make the sacrifice of being different and make a conscious effort to brighten your little corner of the world.  With enough lights shining in the many corners of the world, society can find its way through the dark.

Believe.  Believe compassion can thrive in the human heart and a simple smile can can mean everything to a stranger who needs it. 

Be genuine.  Be genuine in your relationships with your friends, your relationships with your family, and your relationships with your lovers.  By doing so–you will inspire others to be just as genuine.

Dare yourself to be a Gandhi, a Martin Luther King, or even a Mother Theresa.  These were all amazing people, but what made them amazing?  They were amazing because they were regular humans who decided they wouldn’t settle for less than truth.  They were amazing because they lived with passion and poured every ounce of their souls into their dreams.  You can do the same.  Your name can secure its place in history if you live with enough passion, or at least secure its place in the hearts of everyone who has the pleasure to know you. 

As others notice your efforts, they may change as well.  One simple kind gesture may prompt someone else to reevaluate their impact on others and carry on your legacy, thus allowing your actions to echo across the world through the corridors of human interaction.

Watch the movie, “Pay It Forward” again, and this time put the concept into action. 

All I am asking you to do is act on feelings which already exist in your heart, because, regardless of our mistakes and shortcomings, every single person knows the difference between right and wrong.  It is in our hearts.

Dorothy Day, founder of the Catholic Work Movement, wrote: “People say, what is the sense of our small effort?  They cannot see that we must lay one brick at a time, take one step at a time.  A pebble cast into a pond causes ripples that spread in all directions.”

Find the courage to be conscious of the ripple your life creates and the meaning of your life will live on long after you have gone from this world.

These programs aren’t just there to attract hype; this is quality information.  Some of the schools providing this resource include UC Berkley, MIT, Harvard, University of Notre Dame, and Yale.  Now, keep in mind these free courses hardly ever come with any certification and rarely involve instructor participation, but it’s still a fantastic way to get an education.  It really comes down to whether or not you require a degree for future.  If you do, I don’t blame you for dismissing this as a waste of your time.  If you need a degree for your future profession, this would be a waste of your time.  

If you don’t need a degree; however, consider that some of the greatest minds in history, including Albert Eintein, educated themselves.  My plan was to pursue a Business Entrepreneurship major.  I don’t really need a degree to wave in the air. I don’t plan to ever start a career working for someone else; there are enough opportunities in the changing global environment to allow me to work for myself if I develop the right tools to get started. I just need quality, credible information and hands-on projects to learn the ropes. 

Maybe you’re in the same boat.  Or maybe you already have a career and just want to expand your knowledge a little.  A lack of educational stimulation causes your intellect to stagnate or even decline.  Enroll in an open study program at your own pace and you can prevent intellectual stagnation.  

I am going to start my free education by taking the courses most universities require for a business major, such as micro- and macroeconomics.  Then I’ll move on to classes specifically tailored to my personal ambitions.  Furthermore, I will take the courses one at a time so I can fully focus on each one and not spread myself too thin.  I learn better with total immersion.  Regular semesters at the community college never challenged me enough and took too long to get to the point. As a result, I often became bored.  These open learning programs are more suited to my personal learning style.

If this idea captivates you, the OER (Open Educational Resources) Commons and dgCommunities contained the biggest collections of free courses I found. You sign up for an account and then download courses, many of which include interactive learning tools or audio programs.  Or go to the OpenCourseWare Consortium, which lists participating schools all over the world.  The Open University, in the United Kingdom, really stood out for me.  Lifehacker has a great article about free on-line learning resources, with links to a few free foreign language programs as well as many others.

I will provide updates if I come across any courses which are must-dos or even if I’m disappointed, so stay in touch.  Even if you aren’t looking for a full-fledged educational experience, see what these sites have to offer.  You might find something of value. 

In my opinion, the greatest possible value of these networks is not having to sift through endless search engines for credible information.  Maybe that’s the whole point.  This is kind of what the Internet was suppossed to be in the beginning–a way for the forerunners in thought exploration to share info.  The Internet of today is awesome in its social complexity and the many needs it serves, but it would be nice to have something more structured as well.  I am intrigued to see where this movement goes.

Daniel Webster once wrote:
“If we work upon marble, it will perish; if we work upon brass, time will efface it; if we rear temples, they will crumble into dust; but if we work upon immortal minds, if we imbue them with principles, with just the fear of God and love of our fellow men, we engrave on those tablets something which will brighten all eternity.”

What will you engrave upon the immortal mind? Do you even know where to start? Knowledge opens doors. No matter where you are in your life, never stop learning.  The brain is a beautiful work of art and an amazing computer with potential we may never realize.  Try to develop just a bit of this potential by feeding your brain relevant information.  Build neural pathways for new ways of thinking. 

To do so is to truly maximize your life’s potential.

I’m sitting in a bar as I write this, and my case in point is the bartender, withered and hollow-eyed from drug use.  Most people would look at her and make judgements about what she represents, and they would probably be right.  She probably is as easy as her suggestive glances suggest.  She probably is strung out.  She probably does eat too little and party too much.  She probably isn’t much deeper than the drugs, the guys, and the occasional small talk.  We shouldn’t judge, but we do, and the truth is sometimes our judgements exist for a reason.

Yet, there is another truth we mustn’t forget.  The other truth is this woman has seen things we’ve never seen and knows things we could never know.  She is the only person who has seen the world through her experiences, and with personal experience comes personal wisdom.  If I were to catch her attention and let her talk, truly listening to what she has to say, I would find there is a real person behind her current life choices.  I would find we have common ground whereupon we can connect, maybe not enough for a real friendship but enough to appreciate her humanity.

My childhood forced this lesson upon me at a young age.  I grew up in the dirtiest, slimiest trailer park I’ve ever had the misfortune to see.  I remember stepping across a stream of raw sewage to walk to the bus stop in the morning and listening to alcholics and meth-heads rant and rave in my living room as I chased sleep.  In retrospect, my childhood was more than challenging, but I gained a lot by growing up this way.  My dad was in prison and my mom was usually working or partying, so I had to find a way to draw what I could from my environment as I became a man.  I soon realized every single person had something to offer me, even if all they offered was an example of what not to be.

People who only offer an example of what not to be are worst case scenarios.  Almost everyone has something more to contribute if we are patient.  We must find solace in our faith that people exist for a reason and are more multi-faceted than we think.  When we cannot understand them, how can we find a lesson in their ignorance or the horrible sensation they provoke within our stomachs?  How can we make even the worst moments count?

There are other people further down the scale who don’t give us that horrible feeling in our stomachs.  They come across as basically ignorant or mean or shallow or misguided, but the whole point of this post is if you appreciate them and listen to their words with an open mind they have something to offer you.  I myself have found messages in my worst moments.  In fact, many of my worst experiences in life laid down the richest soil for personal growth.  There is always a good lesson in hardship.

Everyone you meet can add to your personal growth if you cultivate a similar mentality.  My own childhood required I learned this skill at a young age.  In order to move on, I had to draw what I could from my surroundings, and my surroundings were less than nurturing.  I had to somehow find value in the words and actions of the adults present in my upbringing.  Luckily for me, the value could even be found there.  Even in the cases where nothing good seems to exist, draw a lesson and learn from someone else’s downfall.  We can all live better lives if we harness this skill.

The world is rife with different human experiences.  Loathing other people’s flaws breeds disdain for the world.  Instead, open your mind more than is comfortable.  The person standing before you may be ignorant.  They may be mean-spirited.  They may be racist.  They may be misguided.  People like this are overwhelmingly abundant across the Earth and throughout the centuries, but don’t forget there may be a reason you have met them.  You may find yourself caught off guard by the depth in a stranger’s words and recieve the answers you have been seeking. 

So try not to dismiss those who don’t live up to your expectations.  Try to relate to them instead.  As they talk, don’t be so quick to push your opinions.  Just listen, taking what has value and letting the rest go.  There is a place for changing minds and standing up for what you believe in, but first consider whether or not doing so will make the difference you desire.  Are you there to teach this person, or are they there to teach you? 

It is great to be the change you want to see in the world, but sometimes the world is there to change you.

 rocking on the pale green water. 

As I stare at it,

 it seems to ask,

 ”What is life?

“Is life a 9 to 5, putting money in someone else’s pocket so you can give away your dreams and your time?

“Is life living on somone else’s clock, never having the courage to embrace the unknown?

“Is life that walk from table to table in a dimly-lit restaurant, bowing your head and humbling yourself for crotchety old men and ignorant rich people who have never known what it is like to work a job with no rewards and no future just to survive?

“I think not,” the boat seems to say.  “That is not life.”

Life is the bird-shit splattered on this wooden bench I’m sitting on.  It is the old lonely men sitting on their bar stools in The Wharf House directly behind me, sipping beer and trading stories.  Life is their dreams, their hopes, and even their solitude.  Life is the well-fed pigeon waddling past me on a giant wooden plank, a strange guttural click emerging from its fat neck as it begs for food.  

The boat seems to say these things but of course it doesn’t.  It doesn’t think.  It doesn’t talk.  It doesn’t complain.  It is just a boat.  And though I endow personifications upon it, it is not human in any way.  It is merely a symbol reminding me to never stop being human because being successful does not necessarily require being tied down by someone else’s dream.  Not when you could find a beat-up old boat and learn to sail, dipping and swelling with the tide as you explore the American coasts.

A seagull lands on the small dinghy tied to the back of the boat, as if to emphasize my point.  He stands proud and free, without a care in the world.  In truth, he is probably a she and is probably looking for something to eat.  But still. . . he/she possesses a look of serenity and I feel that look reflected in myself.  I can find relief in the fact that at least I rode my bike out here to look at the ocean instead of sitting in my apartment alone, wasting my moment of life to watch television.

And the boat just rocks. . .

Two women just sat down on the bench behind me.  Snippets of their conversation drift over.  “Maybe I should just go. . .” one woman says to her friend.  I wonder where she wants to go and what is holding her back.  I can’t help but think her urge is inspired by the same view inspiring me, the jagged cliffs jutting from the bay and the glistening stretch of beach. 

Life is not as set and rigid as we make it.  Dead end jobs and stifled dreams are a human creation.  My own goals are greater than my temporary employment, but doing it even “for now” reminds me why I want more.  Until tomorrow comes, the moment must count.  I must savor the customers who truly care about the soul behind the waiter, who want to know who I am and why I do what I do.  The good customers know I’m not there because I want to wait tables for the rest of my life.  This intrigues them because they know I must have a dream.  They reach out to show me they are human and they understand.  They are the ones who help make even that moment important. 

And you have to make even that moment important because every moment could be your last.  The ocean of life will swallow you if you let it, and one human is a small thing even in his greatest moment.  Treasure this time because it can be taken away.  More than anything, don’t let this scare you–let it inspire you.  Let it be the wind in your sails and find the courage to be more than a land dweller.  Land can lock you down, but water goes on forever.

And the sailboat just rocks. . .

A group of other boats sits beyond the first, just as empty and quiet, as if waiting for someone to come along who needs to be free.  What are the men who own these boats like?  Have they figured something out the rest of us don’t know?  What are their lives like?  Do they embrace the freedom most of us crave, or do they take it for granted?

In any case, I will not take my moment for granted, whether I find my freedom in a bicycle ride, a happy hour, or the common bond between co-workers who not only share self-imposed limitations but similar goals.  I will find my freedom in the dreams I hold dear and the seconds along the way.  No job or limitation can take away the freedom anchored in my spirit.  It simply sits and waits, gently rocking in the ocean of life, waiting for me to gather the skills and courage to hop on and take it for a ride.

When I got back home, I opened my notebook to this first page of this entry and saw a brownish yellow splotch on the two pages open before me.  Puzzled, I stopped thinking for a moment and focused my attention on them.  For a moment, I couldn’t figure out what they were, and then it hit me.  A grin crept across my face as I pondered the irony.  Birdshit.  A bird flew over while I was sitting there writing this and dropped a bomb down on my notebook.  How appropriate. . . 

Now that is life!

-Dr. Suess